Monday, August 2, 2021

Table of torments

  • Each quote is the title of a satirical poem that tells a story 
  • Every wednesday this blog will tell one of those stories
  • All quotes are by the former guy said prior to or while holding our highest public office
  • These quotes are all public record
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"i probably identify more as democrat" 

"these were three fabulous young men in the prime of their lives" 

"the american dream is dead but if i get elected president i will bring it back" 

"i fight like hell to pay as little as possible" 

"i dont need anybodys money im very rich" 

"its very possible that ill be the first presidential candidate to run for president and make money on it" 

"no collusion" 

"january 20th 2017 will be the day that the people became the rulers of this nation again"

"just to sum up i would do various things very quickly" 

"and we have to start out by building a wall a big powerful beautiful wall"

"weve just launched 59 missiles heading to iraq" 

"and china i like china i just sold an apartment for 15 million dollars to somebody from china" 

"lives are being shattered and destroyed by a mere allegation"

"what a great honor it must be for you to honor me tonight" 

"covfefe" 

"we cant fix a rigged system by relying on the people who rigged it in the first place"

"the united states will withdraw from the paris climate accord thank you"

"shes in such great physical shape"

"were gonna handle north korea we handle everything"

"tonight we put aside all the policy fights in washington dc youve been hearing about with the fake news and all of that"

"tremendous medical costs"

"fine people on both sides"

"the first statement i made was a fine statement making the statement when i made it was excellent"

"our movement is a movement built on love"

"we want to take care of the people of texas"

"have a good time everybody"

"what the hell is going on with global waming please come back fast we need you"

"son of a bitch"

"the calm before the storm"

"to the families of the victims we are praying for you"

“thoughts and prayers”

"our healthcare plan is really going to be something excellent"

"our healthcare plan is really going to be something excellent"

"the beating heart of our plan is a tax cut for working families" 

"he totally denies it he says it never happened"

"i have determined it is time to officially recognize jerusalem as the capital of israel"

"will be leaving florida for washington today at 4pm"

"im a stable genius" 

"my positions are going to be what the people in this room come up with"

"theyre shithole countries"

"i would not have made certain deals if it werent for golf"

"virtually everything said has been said incorrectly and its been said wrong or its been covered wrong by the press"

"successful people have a lot going on on their desk"

"fake news folks fake news typical new york times fake story"

"the united states is a compassionate nation"

"we fulfilled far more promises than we promised"

"were bringing back those 4 magnificent words made in the usa"

"i really believe id run in there even if i didnt have a weapon"

"i want a parade like the one in france"

"you have people who care about you who love you and who will do anything at all to protect you"

"learn before you speak"

“youre a rude terrible person”

"these arent people these are animals and were taking them out of the country at a level and at a rate thats never happened before"                                                   

"please inform him that i too have a nuclear button but it is a much bigger and more powerful one"

1 comment:

  1. If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.

    -Adolf Hitler

    ReplyDelete

fifth

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